Who you are Keep hold of your own separate identity (not just wife of, mother of, daughter of) Hold your head high, be confident in who you are Keep a journal Get as much formal education as you can, and then keep on learning all through your life Keep following your interests/passions even if they are not of 'practical' value Read a daily newspaper Read lots of books and keep some sort of record of what you have learned or understood from reading At some stage do Myers Briggs and enjoy what you learn about yourself Mention your achievements sometimes, in passing, to men
In Christ Nurture your faith - in many ways and personally Stay close to Jesus - there are so many women in the gospels who did just that
How you look Look stylish and be classy Develop your own style and enjoy it Get your colours done - it saves money and time in shops Don't keep weighing yourself, but try not to go up (or down) a dress size Pay a bit of attention to hair, makeup, glasses - but not too much Smile lots
Marriage Hug your husband a lot Take mini- breaks with your husband - aim for once a year Take your marriage vows very seriously Make sure your best friend is your husband
Children Children grow up very quickly, so enjoy every moment. In family life follow Bernard of Clairvaux's motto: notice everything, turn a blind eye to something, chastise a little and cherish the brethren' Your children are usually cleverer and more mature than you had thought Children need to know they are loved and secure (much more than they need things or activities or even education
Friends Take time to encourage other women, and value them for who they are Try to remember friends' birthdays and send a card Hospitality Be hospitable, and relaxed in entertaining Learn to cook some signature dishes Always provide lots of food Host extended family occasions and value cousins and in-laws Take photos of the ordinary mundane occasions to look back on years hence Write thank you letters - for big and little things Keep some time and space for just you, and for just family
Living Don't try to be perfect or a perfectionist - it doesn't work Be happy multi-tasking Work out which deadlines need to be hit and then hit them Keep dancing Be a confident traveller - know how to book a trip and make sure you can lift your own suitcase